Five signs you have an online shopping problem — and how to fix it

If you’ve had even a fleeting thought that your online shopping habits might be a problem, they probably are. Here are five signs you’re overdoing it, and a number of solutions to break the habit.

You’ve forgotten what you ordered when the box shows up

You try opening your front door and something is blocking it. It’s a box.

You draw a blank about what it could be. You feel a rush of excitement so you hip check the door open to get to the box. As you rip the packaging open, you remember it’s the coffee grinder you ordered for the one package of unground coffee your niece gifted you on Christmas.

Forgetting what you ordered in the first place is a sign you’re on spending autopilot, which is a slippery slope to debt. The latter part about buying something you’ll only use once is a sign of boredom. Did you know that most coffee houses will gladly grind your bag of beans for you (some will do it for free with or without a small purchase).

Simple awareness of this pattern is often enough to help you shift out of spending autopilot into being an aware spender.

You shop when you’re bored or lonely

Ever notice how full your cart gets when you have nothing going on, or if you’re experiencing a low mental health day? Online shopping has a way of pulling you from boredom into an emotionally engaging place. This is the effect of dopamine (a naturally produced chemical in your brain) pumping through your body and making you feel “alive.”

So, of course we shop to feel better and to be less bored. The problem is that this surge of excitement is short-lived, and our body and mind crave it; alas, an overspending cycle is quickly formed as we attempt to replicate this experience in the hopes of feeling better.

The amazing news is that a 24 hour pause between filling your cart and actually pressing the buy button, is often enough to stop the transaction from happening. Over that 24 hour period of time you have an opportunity to see if you really need something or if it’s just an emotional purchase (rooted in a want).

Practise this a few times and your brain will produce dopamine because you’ve taken control of your spending — yes, this cycle can work for you, too.

Your credit card balance mysteriously keeps rising

You say to yourself or your therapist “I don’t know why this keeps happening. I just consolidated my debt and now my credit card balances are up again. What is wrong with me?”

Nothing is wrong with you. I promise.

What needs improvement though is your budgeting — that is what’s broken. No one was taught how to do this in high school, but that doesn’t mean you can’t learn to do it properly now.

The magic place in a budget is when your income is enough to cover your core expenses including paying down the balance of your credit cards, short-term savings (5 per cent of take home pay), long-term savings (aim for 10 per cent of take home pay) and it leaves you between 10 and 20 per cent of your take home pay for discretionary spending on things like subscriptions, shopping, wellness, etc. In other words, having some fun spending in your budget is 100 per cent OK; in fact, it is good for you!

There are only two ways to get a budget to balance: you either make more money or you spend less (fun fact about self-made millionaires is they actually do both of these things). So, pick your path forward, and take action. One more fun fact about financial wellness; as your debts decrease you’ll experience that dopamine again, but in a healthy and sustained way, and you’ll want more and more financial wellness.

There are unopened packages or price tags on previous orders

This is the part where you round up all of those items and begin returning them, or selling them online via Facebook Marketplace or Kijiji or your local swap and sell site. The act of doing this shines a light on your overspending problem. It might bring up emotions of anger or sadness. Let those emotions and feelings just roll over you, and give yourself a break. You’re here now and there is no sense beating yourself up. But, there’s a lot of sense in not repeating over-spending patterns. To do so, follow the advice given above — it works!

Family and friends comment on your shopping habits — but you’re in denial

People who care about your financial and emotional wellness may experience pain as they watch your shopping habits unfold. If they’ve made comments, or have sat you down for a full intervention, know that they’re bringing it up because to them, they see you struggling. Chances are, they want to see you stop struggling with money, and actually see you build a better future for yourself.

It’s hard to overcome overspending when you don’t believe a better future is possible. That’s why we deny there’s a problem to begin with.

There is hope, and it starts with finding a reason to have a better future. Is it for your kids? Is it for the freedom that savings could bring you? Is it for your community? Is it for your family? Is it for your wellness? If you can find a real reason to be better with money, you will start believing in your future. When that happens, you’ll have the motivation to stop overspending for good, and begin investing in your future.

This article was originally published in The Star. Lesley-Anne Scorgie is a Toronto-based personal finance columnist and a freelance contributing columnist for the Star.