Money can be a relationship killer. If you’re moving in together to save on rent, have these conversations first

Two rents. Two sets of utility bills. Two parking passes. Two overnight bags that seem to always be in use and never really get unpacked.

Combining your lives and moving in together sooner than planned might make a whole lot of financial sense. Just imagine what you could use the savings for: travel, a down payment, clearing your student loans. The possibilities seem endless.

I’m all for this money-saving move. But, before you shack up, talk through these five considerations.

Where do you want to live and will it work for both of you?

Are you going to move to a new place? What will that rent be? Or are you planning to move into one of your existing places because the rent is cheaper? Will you both have what you need to thrive in the space? Lighting, the size of the space, how well it is laid out can all impact your mood and quality of life. Is there room for both of your things or will you need a costly storage unit? If you’re both still working from home even part-time, are there reasonable spaces for you to work that aren’t the closet or bed?

What if the relationship ends?

Will one partner move out, or would you both leave? Who’s taking the furniture and household goods? What about the cat or dog? Will there be a payout to the partner who must relocate? If you share a car, what happens to that if you split?

I get that no one wants to talk about the business of breaking up, but it’s better to create clear boundaries now that will prevent a super messy and expensive separation later. Depending on the financial positions of the partners, it might be prudent to draw up a cohabitation agreement — especially if one partner owns the property, has significant assets or liabilities, or there is a considerable difference in income.

How will the finances work?

Make a budget for all household expenses — utilities, streaming services, rent, parking, groceries. Use an app you both like. Who’s going to pay for what, including date nights? What are the proportions of payment based on? Fifty-fifty? I recommend you use your respective income levels and to keep your banking and loans separate until it makes sense to combine (getting married or having a child). Some couples never combine, and that can work too, as long as there are clear boundaries and a comprehensive financial plan bringing the couple’s goals together.

Creating a “system” for how the money matters are going to work also means being transparent about what you each make. Believe me, if you can’t be transparent now, it will be a major problem down the road.

Talk household responsibilities, including financial chores

Are there pets that need walking and grooming? Do you have children together that need caring for? What will be the approach to cooking and cleaning? Will one person take the lead on laundry while the other does all the grocery shopping? If one of you gets sick, can the other person do it all? Who cleans up when you’ve entertained your friends? Will the financial chores like paying the bills and rent fall to one person? Other than budgeting, which I recommend you do together and at least on a monthly basis, my advice is to split all the household duties fairly. Fairness prevents arguments.

If children from a previous relationship are involved you’ll need to establish boundaries on parenting responsibilities, communication with the ex-partner, how child-care costs will be covered and more.

What to do with all that money you’ll save?

Literally this could be many hundreds if not thousands of saved dollars each month. Is there a mutual understanding that the savings are going toward specific goals like debt reduction or building a down payment? Is it a free for all to spend as you both wish? It is fine for this deeper conversation about money goals to happen as you grow together as a couple, but the sooner the better. Aside from cheating, nothing breaks up a relationship faster than misaligned financial priorities.

Moving in together a bit sooner than planned has another benefit — you’ll learn so much more about your partner, and faster. It should help reveal if your partner is or isn’t the right person for you. The sooner you know, the sooner you can make the best decisions for your life — that knowledge is priceless.

This article was originally published in The Star. Lesley-Anne Scorgie is a Toronto-based personal finance columnist and a freelance contributing columnist for the Star.