Weddings, baby showers, engagement parties and more are back. Here’s how to spend wisely on all the fun to come

This might just be the biggest party season yet. Every postponed wedding, stagette, retirement party, baby shower, christening celebration, engagement bash and more are on the horizon.

The busy schedule might have you a bit worried, but the expenses might concern you more.

With each party comes spending etiquette, which I’ll just preface here: it’s changed! Some people are not financially OK because of lingering pandemic impacts. If this is you, I encourage you to find a spending balance that works for you. Trust me, your friends and family will understand, unless they are super selfish — in which case you may want to decline their invitation altogether.

Gifting etiquette for big events boils down to being financially considerate and not offending people — but also not overdoing it so that you end up in debt.

Budgeting for it all

By now you’ve received save-the-dates or formal invites. Map these all out in a calendar and put an estimated expense beside each event. This will give you a vision of the total costs, and you can start thinking about spacing out the expenses. Then, work the projected costs for each event back into your budget. This might mean you are going to need to trim from other categories to make it all work, or simply trim back what you spend on each event.

If the total amount you plan to spend this season is impossible, try these techniques to raise some money: sell valuables online; take on extra shifts; cash in your loyalty points toward gifts of straight-up cash; get a side-hustle; or call in the loans you gave to your family during the pandemic.

Follow the gift registries or give cash

Gifting based on a registry is helpful for both the guest and the recipient because the gift is going to be something that’s actually wanted. Most registries have a large variety of differently priced items, and include the option to buy gift cards. Some include mega items like a $4,000 sofa or $2,000 stroller, which many guests would typically come together on.

If there is no registry and no specific gifting “ask,” it’s another way of saying “please give cash.” So, head on over to the ATM and get some money out.

The value of gifts is always up for debate, so let me give some guidelines for you. You will want to ensure that your gift covers the approximate value of whatever you’ll consume at the party (food and drinks) and then a little bit more. The latter should be based on what you can afford. For example, if you’re going to a wedding, the food and drink costs to the bride and groom are typically between $75-$150 per person. So, you’d want to try to give at least that amount plus a little more. Showers and christenings tend to be slightly less. And for many retirement parties, a group of people usually gets together to buy a bigger item.

An idea for baby showers, christenings and dedications

If you’ve been selected as a godparent, or you attend anything baby-related, it’s yet another gifting occasion. Keep your gift on point by asking the parents what would be most meaningful for the child, and in many cases you’ll find they’ll be keen to get a head start on their child’s RESP rather than have another fluffy stuffed animal added to the baby’s toy chest. RESP money is matched 20 per cent (up to $500 annually) through the Canadian Education Savings Grant — so that’s an extra awesome gift!

Clothing, hair, makeup and more

I know you’ve been itching to put on a sequined dress or tux jacket for more than two years. But buying new everything for each event isn’t financially prudent.

See what you’ve got in your closet. Borrow from friends (I’ve lent out piles of my party clothes). Check the second-hand market. Stick to purchases that are on sale. Do your own nails and makeup (I just took a tutorial on this and it was totally worth the $150 investment). Get one great haircut for the season and learn to style it in a few different ways. If you’re in a wedding party, figure out if the bride or groom is planning to help you with these costs or if you’re on your own.

Stags and stagettes

I need to call out how wild spending on bachelor parties has become. If the events are local, costs for the guests are not so steep. But if travel is involved, the group typically splits the costs for the bride or groom and the rest of the attendees cover their own expenses. Some group organizers are conscious about costs and others are not. My advice here is to do what’s right for you and your budget. There are plenty of ways to save on travel such as using up points, splitting rooms or booking red-eye flights. Or, it could be the case that you just sit the event out.

One last tip here: it’s OK to say no to an invitation, or even a few. It could be because of money or maybe you just don’t feel up to it. Just have an honest conversation about where you’re at with the host, which should help to avoid hurt feelings.

This article was originally published in The Star. Lesley-Anne Scorgie is a Toronto-based personal finance columnist and a freelance contributing columnist for the Star.