What Would You Pay to Keep Your Relationship Healthy?
Brianne, 34, and Martin, 37*, common-law partners of five years, came to see our team at MeVest two years ago, angry and ready to ring each other’s necks. The couple was maxed out, but looked like a million bucks – new SUV, Louis Vuitton jewellery, designer clothes, and a high end condo just east of downtown Toronto. In a last ditch attempt to save their relationship, they wanted to see if money coaching could help.
In the first session, Brianne and Martin aired ALL of their financial laundry including the resentment that had built towards each other, specifically about overspending, and having no savings to speak of. They also built their first net worth statement to understand exactly where they were starting from.
By the second session, they’d negotiated with each other on a budget. We helped them put this together by identifying fixed and variable costs, as well as setting some short term goals for their spending. If you need a hand with getting started on a budget, download our free Better Budget Roadmap.
In the third session they’d formed a plan to track their spending and end the following month with positive cash flow – something they’d NEVER been able to accomplish.
The fourth session is when the couple started to work collaboratively on a financial plan. This is where we visioned with them, and helped to put some concrete savings and investing goals in place in order to see that vision come alive. The entire plan was then automated. What was awesome about this process is the couple started to find deep satisfaction in tracking their increasing net worth each month.
During the fifth and sixth sessions the couple agreed it was time to trade in their designer lifestyle for one they could afford and so their car, condo, and pre-paid vacation went up for sale. More than $3,500 of recurring payments disappeared from their cash flow within three months. They later used the equity from their condo and purchased a more affordable, and smaller, place. And their consumer debt was fully consolidated.
The couple continued with money coaching, and we focused on accountability to their financial plan and budget. We evolved the plan and also worked on the behaviours and limiting beliefs preventing them from getting ahead. Their mindset was shifting rapidly each day and they found a rekindled happiness.
Brianne and Martin’s financial and relationship transformation amplified their net worth by over $25,000 in just their first year, and then by another $50,000 in their second year. Sure, it cost them several thousands of dollars in money coaching fees over the course of their journey with us, but it saved their relationship and saved them tens of thousands of dollars in interest and missed investment growth.
So, let’s talk about you.
How much is your relationship worth to you? I’m being serious. What would you spend to keep your relationship healthy? Nothing? $100 a week? $1,000 a month? $100,000 a year?
Couples spend upwards of $30,000 to $40,000 on a wedding and even more on cars and clothes, but sadly most think counselling and coaching costs too much. The reality, however, is that divorce and separation costs far more, emotionally and financially, than both combined.
Sadly, money matters are one of the top contributing factors to relationship breakdown – spending behaviours and high levels of debt cause extreme stress, but in my experience, lack of planning is equally damaging, because financial planning helps couples align their behaviours towards common goals.
If you’re thinking money matters have no place in your relationship, you’re mistaken.
Money funds everything you and your partner do – living with a roof over your head and food on the table, to hockey camp for Junior and vacations to see your family. Money perforates just about everything, unless you’ve found a way to live off-grid, in which case you wouldn’t be reading this article anyways.
I like to think of relationship counselling and money coaching as an investment into the health of your relationship. Both allow you to peel back the layers of your financial challenges, and develop strategies to overcome them. And the process forces you to work on a plan together.
No, money coaching won’t solve every issue. But, some external professional advice will neutralize the financial playing field, and allow you to get back to building a healthy relationship - something most couples feel is priceless.
OR email us at info@mevest.ca
*NOTE - Brianne and Martin’s names have been changed to protect their privacy
